Rich People Are Different

I did a couple not-so-fun reports over the weekend, including shed man’s house (which came out a little higher than my original estimate, but no where near as high as he hoped), but I’ve really been dreading this morning’s inspection. I got the order on Thursday for a marketing value appraisal of a river front house that has been on the market since last June, originally for $2,900,000, and now for $2,600,000. I actually called the boss asking her to give the order to someone else, but she told me to quit being such a big silly, that it would be just fine (and no, she wouldn’t reassign it). Rich people intimidate me. The realtors and appraisers who deal with their houses have a certain “polish” which I lack, and they drive Mercedes and Lincoln Navigators, not Ford Windstars. I just find the whole idea of high end appraisals to be overwhelming. How do I know what people might pay for various amenities when I find the whole idea of neighborhoods of multi-million dollar houses to be preposterous?
This morning, I drove over to the island, found the house, and nerved myself to ring the doorbell. The door was answered by a small woman wearing an oxygen tank who looked me up and down and greeted me with “Well, you’re thin.” That is why rich people scare me! I picked my jaw up off the front porch, and responded with “But not as thin as you!” (This, my boss told me later, was exactly the right reply, but I only hit on it through dumb luck.) She then told me that my hands were cold, and I started the inspection, but we never did get to “hi.” She was otherwise perfectly pleasant, and the house was unremarkable, except for its riverfront location (okay, and the putting green is a bit outside my experience). She had arranged a lot of baskets of very dusty silk plants around the pool and spa, just for the appraisal, and when I was done with the pictures, she started gamely dragging them back inside. I helped her with them, and she was quite appreciative. Overall, she really was nice, but even if I were to win the lottery and become obscenely rich, I would never make it as one of the Ladies Who Lunch.